The count down has begun : /

And I don't know how I feel about it.... 

It came so quick, but I am ready to be done, I think I would be a little bit more excited if I had a job secured.... Continue to try though, we shall see...just scary. 

Got an adorable graduation dress that I CAN NOT wait to wear.... see!

I am thinking I will probably end up wearing my silver flip flops ( i do go to school in california right?) but really want to wear it with my brown boots, we shall see, they have a fat heel on them so I wouldn't sink in the grass... we shall see.

Had too much fun with the weekend, cowboy and indian birthday, champagne dt, beer festival and a beach day... to bad it doesn't last like that always.

When you are in san fransico

Do not forget to wear flowers in your hair.... 

 Now I have only ever driven through SF. And I know people that have moved there, and people that want to move there, and really very few people that have nothing put good things to say about the city. But.... I was not prepared for the sheer love that I would have for the place after visiting it for one weekend. 

I absolutely love it, I could be soooo happy living there, and understand how people will spend so much to live there out of their income... I am terribly sad by the economic state, b/c that is not going to be in my favor at all of getting to move there for a job after graduating... but I am going to try... 

on that note, I am starting to freak out, I am graduating in 3 1/2 weeks.... and have yet to hear from the interview.... and am starting to think that going back to arcata is not what I need to do... that leaves me jobless upon graduation if I do not get an offer from LPA.... I need to really start to send out my resume more still. Something I kinda stopped doing after I had the interview and was so sick again. But I am wondering what one does when they basically leave college with nothing but a lot of debt?

sitting, waiting

Still waiting to hear about the job.. the last person interviewing (I think) went today... I called earlier and said that I had another offer (pretty true) and that I was wondering about a approximate timeline that I could have for them deciding .... but left a message and I know he was in meetings all after noon. Hoping they will let me know in the next week or soo... would be a nice little birthday present now wouldn't it... 

My shoes came and I wore them for formal, very comfy and beautiful... love them.... also I am now on the hunt for a graduation dress. I have no idea what to wear or what I am looking for. Maybe when I see it I will just know.

I GOT A CAMERA FOR MY BIRTHDAY!! so now I can take pictures and post them! and the camera is water resistant and just seems to be built for me.... so excited, thanks mom and dad!! 

Its a beautiful day!

Someone put something in my medicine... But I feel wonderful and feel like I am back to optimistic Heather... it is refreshing!

I am at the library, working away (well going to be) at hw and Senior Project... and I wouldn't rather be anywhere else. Truth is I am a big nerd, I love to learn, I love to do well, I love to be organized, and I love to have a reason... I like to know the future, I like to think I can plan things out, but in reality you can never plan for everything, this is good in many ways, as much as a society we strive for perfection. 

1. I would be out a job if you could plan for everything, b/c then things wouldn't need to be fixed, updated, or altered anything related to planning cities... big bummer there. 

2. life would be boring, if you could plan for everything and make sure everything went smoothly, and you knew every little thing, when would you get excited and get rushes, and see things that make you want to jump up and down with happiness?

Even with the bad that comes from not being able to plan for everything, if you weigh it with all the positives you get out of not being able to plan for every little thing, I would think it was worth it. In love, life, work, play, and everything between... it all happens how it is suppose to, "it all happens for a reason",  "You can't learn lessons without making mistakes" and everything makes you a better person, shapes you to the ultimate you, the person you become is because of your experiences, good and bad.

If you are passionate about something, chances are it is because of some turn of events in your past. The things that make you happy, that make you sad, make you cringe, or make you jump for joy... are because of the unplanned. 

I get in funks, I will be the first to admit it, sometimes they last for months... sometimes just for a few days. However I am blessed with friends that hang in there with me through it, and once I get past it, you can't hold me back. I will admit it was worth it, it made me a better person, and even standing alone, I am a strong wonderful person that has a great life.  

I also have to admit and accept that even with a degree in planning, can not plan my life, no matter how hard I try and want to figure out how each turn down different paths will take me,I can't. It is a waste of time, time I could spend in the PRESENT, not in the past dwelling on how I got to were I am , or in the future, trying to figure out the "best" option for me. 

Sometimes the best option is not going to be what my mind or heart want, but you know what, it will happen how its suppose to, and I need to give up on planning my life, and just enjoy it, and just plan cities and buildings, lol. (now only if I could listen to myself for more than a few moments)

clean room, new shoes, and a wave of relief

Happy May Day! 

Today was a much need therapy day I think... 

Started with last night, I had a pretty good friend that is an art major and a surfer, Jackie Swider, paint me an amazing personalized painting of a wave forming a barrel and pismo beach in the background, this is a picture of it, but it doesn't do the detail of colors justice, it is blended more smoothly then it looks in this picture... absolutely amazing, and somewhat of a calming piece of art that I think will do me a lot of good relaxing and relief in the years to come....

Class went well, I somewhat understand the demands of water from soil... sorta.... worked on senior project, which will take many more pain-staking hours in the weeks to come, but is moving along one step at a time, which I suppose is all you can ask for truly. 

I felt wonderful piece of artwork addition for my room deserved a warm clean welcoming,(as well as the fact that I finally feel well enough to do anything more than sleep and make it to class) and cleaned organized my room...

For once it feels like a real room that functions and has places for everything... almost... to bad I will be moving out in little over a month and a half... finally got the closet to work as a room... pity, but I suppose now I know I can pretty much live in any space and make it work and function and be cozy and mine. 

Off to shopping I went in the drizzling rain, I needed a little retail therapy and was on a hunt for a brightly colored pair of sexy heels, much to my dismay, there are 3 pairs of colored heels in all of downtown San Luis Obispo. Shocking only because there was enough places to look I figured each might have a yellow, green, red, or blue pair somewhere... disappointing, but it was nice to get out of my house and enjoy wandering downtown with Megan. I think it was really good for me to be out of my bed, and away from the stresses of work and school and away from worrying about the interview I went to 4 weeks ago, that I will have to wait at least another week to hear from...

I have been really good at being patient and am trying hard to not freak out about it, but I am a planner, and I have no idea what part of the state I will be headed to in 7 weeks... maybe there is a reason I don't know yet, and I need to realize it is ok, most people are heading home and living off the parentals once they graduate, which considering the economic status of the world, is not really shocking or unacceptable... but not ever part of my game plan. ( I spend a lot of time worrying about this, although I can be very glad my options are both beautiful places along the ocean, something I have realized I grew attach to, and that I really am a California girl at heart)

Anyhow, ended up shopping online for shoes, and after much debate, order, canceling orders, and shopping some more... this is what is on its way to my house....

   Ended the day with diner at a good friends house with about 10 of us girls, and it makes you step back and realize that there are amazing people you meet in college and one day, very soon, things are going to change, and we are all going to go off and do amazing things in the world, in very different places, and touch a lot of lives, and we will never all live in the same town, or hang out very often if ever. But for this brief point in time, sitting around a coffee table with a glass of wine playing apples to apples, is exactly the moment I need to live in... the next 6 weeks are going to be tough with school and getting healthy and figuring out the next part of life... but in-between all that I am going to run around, live in the moment, love my friends and savor every last bite of the amazing energy that comes off of my friends. As a wise fortune cookie I got this summer said "Stop searching, happiness is right next to you"