and the countdown begins

Actually, the countdown has been on for awhile... I am ready to kiss 2009 goodbye (that is the only thing i'm going to be kissing tonight) and I am ready to see what 2010 has in store. This has most definetly been a year of ups and downs, alot of downs. But I must say I have grown in many many ways. I have become humble, happy with little, and confidence in myself and my future looking better. I have a job, a loving family, wonderfully amazing friends (no matter the distance) and that is really all you need. Yes I am cutting it way close on costs, but I am making it work, and know it won't be like this forever, and because of that I can not wait. I have learned more about myself, dating wise, it was a love hate thing... ending with admitting the doubts I had before, realizing no matter how much I want something to work and want someone to love me (in that way, I know I have plenty of people that love me) I can only do so much, and in the end, denying and ignoring cracks, does only more damage to myself. I have learned that I really can not make everyone happy, and I need to be ok with that. I am going to have to tell people things directly and know that they are not going to be happy with what I am saying. I have admired those around me with the strength to be blunt and honest... It is something I lack and am going to be working on this next year.

I have graduated college, love and lost again, moved to new places, trusted that life has a path for me and it is out of my control, I just have to trust my gut and go with it, its there for a reason.

Cheers to 2010, Cheers to surviving 2009, and Cheers to friends, family, love, peace, and an optimistic future.

he wears a tuxedo all the time...

So I have this boy in my life... he's perfect. He loves to cuddle for hours in the morning while I read my book of crazy traveling, and he just lays not asking for anything more then a place for his head and to be right next to my body. He likes to hang out with me when I just want to watch a movie and is patient while I talk to my mom on the phone for more time then one should spend on the phone. His name is Benjamin and he wears a tuxedo all the time, and it fits him perfectly. I can go out and he is patiently waiting for me at home, every time with the same excitement and love.

Oh did I mention Benji is a cat... damn... well at least he's one boy in my life I can count on right?? : )

Be Stunning

This story belongs in its own post.....

So waiting in line for the bathroom at Everett's (a bar dt) on Friday, with Torie, this girl was going on and on talking with her friends, and Torie casually chimes in to start talking to her, intrigued by her excitement. The girl proceeds to explain how she got this chest (which was mighty large if you ask me) when she was 12 and she didn't know what to do with it, then she turned 16. And she figured out that "boys use there shit, so we got to use ours, if we think we are stunning, then we are stunning. You (pointing Torie head to toe) are stunning, (turns to me) and you are stunning, we are all stunning, and We could get any boy in this bar and take them home, in fact, I did that the other night, and you know what, he thought I was stunning" She then goes on about how she has gone back and forth in weight from 175 to 115 ( I feel like this might be a slight intoxicated exaggeration, but I wasn't going to argue with the girl, she was stunning after all, lol) and she has been in the army and the navy ( I think she was trying to refer to being around the army and navy men ( but again, I ain't going to break judgement) and they all will believe you if you think you are stunning, they will think you are stunning.

Needless to say, sometimes people like that have a point, be stunning, if you believe you are stunning and act stunning, others will believe it too...

An amazing weekend with Torie Dye, a Stunning one...

Holiday Season is a go, and the countdowns are on...

18 days give or take 1 or 2 and i'll be home in Murrieta with the family.

30 days til the end of one of the toughest years I have had ever is over, and a new optimistic one begins.

33 days and i'll be on a cruise line to Mexico for 7 days.

Now to recap one of the best Thanksgivings I've had. I was not able to go just due to the shear distance and time, and the fact that I will be home so long at Christmas (around 3 weeks). However I lucked out and got one of the next best families to be in the area. Miss. Torie Dye and the "stunning" (more on the word of the day later) Dye family came up to her Aunt and Uncle's home for the holiday.

First crazy thing happens is that I had yet to ask the address or exact location of their home. Once she was in town and called to have me come over, I find out that she is close by, I told her to walk outside and yell my name.... I could hear her... turns out, Aunt and Uncle live directly behind the house I am living in!! What are the chances... small small world.

It was absolutely wonderful to spend time with them all, just hanging out in a homey environment, plenty of laughter, wine, talking about politics, communities, outlooks on life, everything. And of course just to be around Torie again. I always forget how much fun we have and how similar the two of us look at life. Its nice to have that friend around that just gets it, and you get them.

Went up to Lady Bird Johnson and Fern Canyon to show them some big trees and fern covered walls.. very relaxing just to be around family and not worry about work, money, the day of the week... any of that... very much what I needed.

Took Torie out to Lost Coast Brewery and DT Arcata on Friday night, and I had an absolute blast running around with her, some things will never change. Went to my old house where a dance party was going on. So much fun and with such fun laid back people.

Had to say good bye come Saturday morning, but it was a wonderful few days, sooo much of what I needed, and sooo thankful for a wonderful friend and family to take me in and just give me so much love for a few days when I was so far away from my family.... definetly felt at home.