flustrated

Its a word I apparently made up... flustrated. A combination of flustered and frustrated. But when I use it, it is always an inappropriate time to correct me on my verbage, lol.

I am at work, and I have done my work, and have passed it along for review and approval, and yes I know that I am new and adding to the work load (a tiny bit may I add) and I do not get back what I put in. I simply do not know what to do in this working world that is so upside down and backwards from the rest of the world.

I do good work, they are happy with it, but do they do anything with that good work. Not that I have seen. I have made minimal changes to marketing work over the past two weeks, with little to no progress made it actually utilizing it.

I understand there are other projects, currently bringing in money and that they are a priority and need to have attention spent on them where it is due. However, if you hire me on to do something new, you have to give it some time of the day, and not after weeks and weeks of nods of approval and oks. I am a new hire, new to the working world. Yes I am self motivated, but I need reassurance and support. If I wanted a job that relied on not working with anyone else or not needing support from anyone, well I wouldn't be doing this, thats for sure.

This is really the first time I am so upset about the situation that I almost want to just leave and say, when I have some work to do, call me and I'll come back. I am simply waitting on others. And have been for nearly a week. The only thing that keeps me here, wondering about teh computer is the fact that there are bills to pay and I have to be here in order to get paid to pay those bills, and he agreed to pay me. So I stay... Id rather be productive. I guess its motivation to find another job, a job that has a lot for me to do. Yet I wonder, is it like this everywhere...

there are nice people, its a beautiful place, but I am not "doing" anything, I know it might take a while to get a project I really want to do, but until then, what do you do?

Enough for now, at least this weekend shall provide some entertainment. I will be partaking in a beer festival HOPS for Humboldt on Saturday and then Sunday am volunteering (pouring beer and wine, got to love volunteering) at an organic planet festival that should be fun, providing the sun decides to show up and its not all foggy... so til the weekend...

I just don't want to waste any time in my life not making a difference and doing things... I am just taking up space and using things if I do not give back... and gosh darn it, for some reason I am not one of those people that can be happy that way.