First thoughts of the day... "Wow I slept through the whole night, god it really is already 5:30, at least I don't have to wake up til 7:30 tomorrow morning, He really wanted someone close by, and found it, time to try and forget that and enjoy my day and realize all the love around me."
Jealous - its not a word I use often, and for the most part I am not a jealous person, I have what I have because I earn it, yes I wish life was easier, doesn't everyone wish things were handed to them, but that makes me a better more understanding person of this world. But when it comes to relationships I get jealous of others that have ones that work so well, and I get jealous of how others can somehow just seperate themselves from someone they cared so much about, and I am jealous that I have yet to be in a solid relationship for any substantial amount of time. But I do know that this is the time in our lives that if you do date anyone for any length of time, it is something more serious usually.
I don't know if I am just letting societies pressure get to me, the mass amount of change of last names on facebook of people I went to high school with, or the number of children people my age have. Is it that? or am I just impatient. Are what I see as "flaws" of attachment and trust flaws, or will they truely pay off in the end. Is being nice to ex's and wishing them the best, when really you want them to realize you were the better one, and they messed up, and that you are worthe it the right thing to do. Or do you just tell them you hate the idea of them dating someone else....
ugh, maybe ralph waldo emerson was right, and I just need to go meet God out in nature and then be self reliant and I will be eternally happy... haha.
Why am I such an optimist....
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