So yes, it really is 2 am, and yes I really am up, and plan to be at work no later than 8 tomorrow morning. Why must you ask. Because, you see, Heather is making a jump, things might get a little bit messy, but in the cleanest safest way possible.
Folks, it looks like H Phi (that would be myself) is moving out of Humboldt County. Now I am sure I will post later tonight (at a reasonable hour) or tomorrow about confirming this, but I have received communication that I should start looking for a place to live, and that they would want me there before the beginning of December.
Ok, I'll cut to the cold hard facts and stop dragging this out.
My friend Jade that I stayed with when I was up for the 1/2 marathon works for a center that works with children with behavioral issues (I am sure I will find out some politically correct term to use). She is moving up in the world there, and her spot will be open... she would/will be my supervisor... recommended I apply. This was around 11 am today (yesterday?), by 2:30 I was in my car talking to my mother for confirmation in my thought process of said situation, which bless my mother, considering I asked her what she was doing when she picked up and the reply consisted of "getting to the end of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride!"... She was at disneyland and handled her 24 year old daughters freak out session quite well.
With the mother clearance I asked Jade the next steps, most of the paperwork is in at this point. I know it will be challenging work, testing at times. But honestly I am looking for that, I think it will probably hit me like a ton of bricks at some point, a what where you thinking, moment.
But its a job that pays enough, with enough hours to make it work (this was the numero uno reason I have not left yet) , it will get me to a City and out of a Rural community (numero uno goal) where I am only just now sorta starting to become accepted as a whole. It will make my overall happiness level of place go up (priceless really).
It puts me in the center of a City that is one of the top, if not the top City as far as land use and planning and sustainable communities goes... Even leaving my "career field" for something new, there will be plenty of ways for me to get involved and stay involved with Planning in that City. I also sorta think maybe its what I need from Planning. I need to step back, and be able to volunteer, find niches of the community and planning, and get to know oregon and portland without the pressure of an extreme learning curve just to keep up in a planning job.
And as I promised my mother months ago, if I didn't move closer enough to home to drive and visit, I would move to a City that had a major airport... I think Portland fits that bill.
I think this might be just what the doctor ordered, or had planned. I just didnt know it yet.
I am not saying the words yet, the ones that mean i really am.... you know.... to you know.....
I will save that for tomorrow or the next day, when something more happens. I am afraid even talking about this this much will make it disappear and not be real... even though I am pretty sure this is Real Life. : )
And I am slightly terrified, but then I calm down for a second and think about actually doing it, and I start to smile, that is why I know its right, because although scary and terrifying in ways.
I just know, I have that feeling.
That for once, it is all leading somewhere I can see, and the marine layer moved away long enough to read it out... its not perfect, its not a fairy tale though either, its real life... ok, I still don't feel like its real life, but in about 5 1/2 hours its going to be real life for sure!
(and yes I am moving to a City based off of people telling me they think I would like it, and my only real experiences in the City consisting of drinking too many Jameson shots with college friends, being overly forward with a very respectful boy after said shots, and 2 days later running 13.1 miles in dumping cold rain, still excessively hungover, including 4 miles up Barbur St... it can't get any worse then that right?!?)
I am excited, I think more excited then I have been in a long long while.
And this is what I kept reminding myself..... and will continue on the bad days, the rough days...
"This is an important lesson to remember when you’re having a bad day, a bad month, or a shitty year. Things will change: you won’t feel this way forever. And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can’t feel real joy unless you know what it means to fail. You can’t know what it’s like to feel holy until you know what it’s like to feel really fucking evil. And you can’t be birthed again until you’ve died."
– Kelly Cutrone
(stole the quote from Free Honey, but soo what I needed to see today and share with you)
Hope you all have a lovely week, and if not, read that quote again.... : )
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
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