and the countdown begins

Actually, the countdown has been on for awhile... I am ready to kiss 2009 goodbye (that is the only thing i'm going to be kissing tonight) and I am ready to see what 2010 has in store. This has most definetly been a year of ups and downs, alot of downs. But I must say I have grown in many many ways. I have become humble, happy with little, and confidence in myself and my future looking better. I have a job, a loving family, wonderfully amazing friends (no matter the distance) and that is really all you need. Yes I am cutting it way close on costs, but I am making it work, and know it won't be like this forever, and because of that I can not wait. I have learned more about myself, dating wise, it was a love hate thing... ending with admitting the doubts I had before, realizing no matter how much I want something to work and want someone to love me (in that way, I know I have plenty of people that love me) I can only do so much, and in the end, denying and ignoring cracks, does only more damage to myself. I have learned that I really can not make everyone happy, and I need to be ok with that. I am going to have to tell people things directly and know that they are not going to be happy with what I am saying. I have admired those around me with the strength to be blunt and honest... It is something I lack and am going to be working on this next year.

I have graduated college, love and lost again, moved to new places, trusted that life has a path for me and it is out of my control, I just have to trust my gut and go with it, its there for a reason.

Cheers to 2010, Cheers to surviving 2009, and Cheers to friends, family, love, peace, and an optimistic future.

he wears a tuxedo all the time...

So I have this boy in my life... he's perfect. He loves to cuddle for hours in the morning while I read my book of crazy traveling, and he just lays not asking for anything more then a place for his head and to be right next to my body. He likes to hang out with me when I just want to watch a movie and is patient while I talk to my mom on the phone for more time then one should spend on the phone. His name is Benjamin and he wears a tuxedo all the time, and it fits him perfectly. I can go out and he is patiently waiting for me at home, every time with the same excitement and love.

Oh did I mention Benji is a cat... damn... well at least he's one boy in my life I can count on right?? : )

Be Stunning

This story belongs in its own post.....

So waiting in line for the bathroom at Everett's (a bar dt) on Friday, with Torie, this girl was going on and on talking with her friends, and Torie casually chimes in to start talking to her, intrigued by her excitement. The girl proceeds to explain how she got this chest (which was mighty large if you ask me) when she was 12 and she didn't know what to do with it, then she turned 16. And she figured out that "boys use there shit, so we got to use ours, if we think we are stunning, then we are stunning. You (pointing Torie head to toe) are stunning, (turns to me) and you are stunning, we are all stunning, and We could get any boy in this bar and take them home, in fact, I did that the other night, and you know what, he thought I was stunning" She then goes on about how she has gone back and forth in weight from 175 to 115 ( I feel like this might be a slight intoxicated exaggeration, but I wasn't going to argue with the girl, she was stunning after all, lol) and she has been in the army and the navy ( I think she was trying to refer to being around the army and navy men ( but again, I ain't going to break judgement) and they all will believe you if you think you are stunning, they will think you are stunning.

Needless to say, sometimes people like that have a point, be stunning, if you believe you are stunning and act stunning, others will believe it too...

An amazing weekend with Torie Dye, a Stunning one...

Holiday Season is a go, and the countdowns are on...

18 days give or take 1 or 2 and i'll be home in Murrieta with the family.

30 days til the end of one of the toughest years I have had ever is over, and a new optimistic one begins.

33 days and i'll be on a cruise line to Mexico for 7 days.

Now to recap one of the best Thanksgivings I've had. I was not able to go just due to the shear distance and time, and the fact that I will be home so long at Christmas (around 3 weeks). However I lucked out and got one of the next best families to be in the area. Miss. Torie Dye and the "stunning" (more on the word of the day later) Dye family came up to her Aunt and Uncle's home for the holiday.

First crazy thing happens is that I had yet to ask the address or exact location of their home. Once she was in town and called to have me come over, I find out that she is close by, I told her to walk outside and yell my name.... I could hear her... turns out, Aunt and Uncle live directly behind the house I am living in!! What are the chances... small small world.

It was absolutely wonderful to spend time with them all, just hanging out in a homey environment, plenty of laughter, wine, talking about politics, communities, outlooks on life, everything. And of course just to be around Torie again. I always forget how much fun we have and how similar the two of us look at life. Its nice to have that friend around that just gets it, and you get them.

Went up to Lady Bird Johnson and Fern Canyon to show them some big trees and fern covered walls.. very relaxing just to be around family and not worry about work, money, the day of the week... any of that... very much what I needed.

Took Torie out to Lost Coast Brewery and DT Arcata on Friday night, and I had an absolute blast running around with her, some things will never change. Went to my old house where a dance party was going on. So much fun and with such fun laid back people.

Had to say good bye come Saturday morning, but it was a wonderful few days, sooo much of what I needed, and sooo thankful for a wonderful friend and family to take me in and just give me so much love for a few days when I was so far away from my family.... definetly felt at home.

Pictures!

I totally forgot to post pictures... I do have a camera after all and recently swooped a mini tripod... so i decided to go for a spin in the front yard. got dolled up (trust me, i don't dress like this on any given day in arcata... I sure would get some funny looks and I'm just not one to want to stand out in a crowd) and I was a bit cool... it is november after all. but they did turn out well and are at least something to share from the North Coast

1st homemade sushi roll... not to shabby, and it was just wonderful to eat, we had cucumber, avocado, carrots, tempura yams, albacore, and probably more that i can't remember, but it was delicious and so much fun.. I could eat sushi every night like this... yummy. ( I should send this to my parents, they would be shocked... i was the pickiest eater child ever)

There was a slight overlap of sushi night plans, so the next time sushi was rolled at my house too... here is some more yummy sushi

Front Yard pictures... I will have to work on the other ones, for some reason it won't let me upload them... anyhow this is a fallen redwood in the front yard that is beautiful.. this pictures begins to capture why I love this place, its just beautiful.

And humboldt can have beautiful sunsets, I took this up at Six Rivers Brewery in McKinleyville, nice way to end a day after hiking up in fern canyon with Renee who was visiting.

Christmas bells....

Mid November... I guess I have successfully avoided those places that hit christmas before halloween... and then there was the tunes. I was in some random store last week and walked past some music display of holiday tunes going off and thought "oh brother here we go, its official now". Not that it was a news flash to me, but I still feel like its September or August... I think i'm in a time warp or something of the sorts. Arcata will do that to you, besides more rain, its about the same weather as the summer, a bit cooler, but not enough to change a season or two.

Job security... I have been "promoted" to City Planner of Blue Lake... which is an amazing opportunity I would not have in a bigger place. Due to co-workers moving on to bigger and greater things, I have been delegated (minimal hours truely, but hours none the less) the work. It will be really really good for me, I need to build tough skin and get use to people getting mad at me b/c i simply tell them what the "zoning says" and not always being the girl that gets along with pretty much anyone. And I finally have a purpose at the office. Not so great news is no raise is really in sight : / I think in the past week I have gone through all the phases of grief with this... truely I have bills, and a good amount of them for just graduating from college, and every penny counts, BUT I have a job, I have to remember that, it might not be perfect, but there really aren't too many perfect jobs out there right now, let alone anything that I could really get (haven't had an offer yet and I have pretty much sent out resumes since Feb.)

I thought of moving back to murrieta, but I think the best thing I can do for my long term career goals is to come back up, get paid terribly, take the experience and realize it WILL pay off later when I have the experience others I graduated with aren't getting right now. I will look into getting some relaxed low thought process job around town, luckly the lady I work with knows a few different business owners and will refer me with a good record to try and find me side work. This would be nice b/c

1. It gives me something else to do, I am so use to having so many things going on with different groups that I think I am sorta depressed in a way b/c my life is simple for the moment, I go to work, 2 classes and the rest of the week is mine... odd for a girl named Heather

2. Its a different income source, If something goes wrong, or he comes to me and says, hey, you have to cut back your hours a lot, I can still stay and rough it out, without being financially screwed, for lack of better words.

3. My planning experience grows... key to landing the next job, and it will just show that I have long term employment.

In other news Torie Dye is coming to town!!! Wednesday the BFF will be in town and Thanksgiving celebrations will happen with the Dye family this year. Should be great, and I haven't seen her since I moved up here, so it will be a breathe of fresh air having her around to just sit with in the forest on a hike and laugh and be myself without having to try. CAN NOT WAIT!

Christmas break will be great, I am going to go down the week of Christmas if all goes according to plan. Then I will be down there through the new year and am going on a family cruise! We will be going to Mexico, Cabo, Mazalan, and Puerto Vallerta. It will be fun and good time spent with family.

We are going b/c my dad is requesting to be deployed to Afghanistan at the end of january for a year and he wants to spend time with all of us as a family before that happens. : ( I don't understand it, although there are several reasons he is going and has thought about it long and hard. The man only knows the life of a solider, and he loves it dearly... I love him, but I don't think I will ever truly understand. He's so selfless though and cares so much about his family, it amazes me and teaches me so much, simply by his actions.

2 months... geezzz

Well I am alive.. and still in Arcata. which I suppose at the time of the last post, was a little uncertain. I have been extended employment until the end of the year. and then an evaluation at that point of work available, pay, etc.

In other news, I need footwear... that aren't pumps, aren't flip flops... something that protects my feet from weather... I guess it is a true sign that I have lived in a sheltered climate for awhile huh... But I am thankful I held onto the blue funky rainboots my mom got me way back that I wasn't to sure about at the time. That was a good move.

Shopping lately has been good, as in checkbook good. And it still works out well for staples and accessories that I live in humboldt and don't exactly fit in, means shopping works well for me at thift shops and sales. found a sweat multi-colored v patterned scarf for 3.50 at target, along with this wonderfully bright mustard colored messenger bag with turquoise accent fabric for about 4 bucks (not super nice, but is the kick of color i need and will at least stick around long enough to get the moneys worth and make me smile) also scored a nice waste belt for 4 bucks and a dress that it was made for for 6.50 (target was a great day) so I left with 3 accessory pieces and a beautiful dress that looks great with or without tights and boots, for less then 20 bucks... my mother trained me well... lol

Picked up some white jeans (I decided I am just going to be a rebel, I wear white pants year round... probably more when "its out of season" b/c its colder and calls for pants... ehh over it, but some older lady is probably going to think i'm going to hell for it) for 2.50 at the thift shop, along with 2 pairs of heals... one solid black pumps from chinease laundry (quite possibly my favorite brand of shoes currently) and another pair that are brightly colored, but could go for a black ensemble one night... each pair was a dollar.. so took a chance and snagged both.

I'm starting to settle in to Arcata, and I do enjoy the place, I just really need a large airport near by, or more of a pay check.. I am working on it. Will be applying for a position with the City on Monday.. would mean I would be signing on to being here for awhile, but if they are paying me enough to feel like I am not a college student anymore... I think I would be content for a year or two up here. Just gonna have to sack it up for traveling to see the family... but a job is a job right now, and I would be happy enough.

And then I could stop talking about finding a job and having money... I feel like I am on repeat all the time... settling for awhile would be nice...