This is what my husband started off saying yesterday evening. After a day of him and a buddy working on a truck, and I doing the weekly grocery shopping and meal prep for this week.
Ok, why not, j/k.... get in the car, and there is a change in the thought process.. lets get a margarita. Hmm, I have a feeling this was planned... but I play along. We head to the Mexican restaurant up the street and grab a spot at the bar.
Now I am normally the more social one, between the Mr. and I. However as we sat down, and asked if the seats where taken, the lady sitting next to two empty stools responded no, but that Heather would have to sit to his left b/c her name was Heather as well and she would get confused. Kristopher began chatting with her, being that she noticed his hair cut (dead give away he's military) and the conversation evolved to what became a very thought provoking, conversation. (especially considering she was having half a beer while waiting for a take-out order)
This lady was very well spoke, well educated, and very wise. Among the points she made, she did point out a few things that struck me dead on.
1. marriage is partially a business. - you need to come together, set goals, figure out a path to get there. If one half falls off too many times, it gets harder and harder to get to those goals. If you want to have kids, or own a business, you do it together, and you have to know what your intentions, expectations, goals and dreams are for those things, for your life.
2. Always plan for what you want to do next, and in the end... focus on that, and don't let people put you in a box. If you believe you are where you are right now, and thats all there is - that is where you will stay. If you know you want to achieve more, and do something, you can, but work today for tomorrow.
3. Education is invaluable, and respected when earned. When asked about pursuing a Masters, and what in, she responded, it comes down to who is paying for it, but also, to do it in something you love. She did a masters in finance, she loved that, and thats what she wanted to spend her time doing, down the road, even when her current military position wasn't fully focused on finance, thats what she wanted to do eventually.... and she loved every minute of it (well almost every). But she did other certification programs as well.
She spoke to the fact that depending on who she was speaking to, and who was interested in what part about her, she spoke to those strengths... those "fancy letters after her name" Earn accreditations, certifications in those areas that you enjoy and love and are serious about, because for those that don't know you already, they will use those to understand your dedication and knowledge. You can never have too many options to pick from. She had 10 different business cards, and 10 resumes - depending on what she was needing to show/display her focus on.
She headed off, and Kristopher and I chatted some, some about work/career tracks, some on the topic of children - its a touch and go conversation we have been having over the last several months (the topic of having them ever, later, never, adopt, etc), but thats for another blog post really...
We enjoyed or drinks, and I sat a bit in aw about how you run into people for a reason, and obviously we where suppose to hear what this lady had to say... and getting a margarita right then, was the way to get us to her. (go ahead and laugh, but it was too well spoken and too well timed to be just a coincidence)
I woke up, fairly wide awake this morning, around 2:30-3 am (correlated to 61/2 hours of average sleep, and going to bed at 9, and sleeping a grip ton yesterday) thinking about all of this.
Between what Heather said to us, and a bit of on going soul searching, this is where my head is at...
What would you actually do if you won the lottery, or inherited enough that you could do whatever you wanted with life? You could work, or not. But be realistic.
I feel like this is what you should drive on towards, focus to getting to.
I, however, do not know what I would do. I truly don't.
And this frightens me. I feel like, at some point I lost something, that goal.
Other times I think there was never a goal past college. I have always been very self motivated to do things, like college. But now what... what do I want to do now.
Do I want to have kids? Not society, not my parents, but do I? Or is that society's impression of what I should do next?
And what would I do if I could do anything. It seems like a question for a kid, but seriously... I don't know. And thats what I need to discover and think about, because that will give me a focus and a drive and passion again for myself.
I have come to terms with the fact that my Bachelors degree is valuable, but not in the way I thought it would be. There was a good chunk of time over the past few years, although proud of my college, I have been angry with the lack of ability to utilize my degree professionally. There has been some straight up anger and tears of frustration... and I struggled with what I could have done different, or if in fact, I should of majored in something else completely. I wouldn't trade the experience or the people I have met through college, but I do struggle being a proud practicing alumni sometimes.
I still struggle some with the fact that, at this moment in life, I am doing a job, not a career. I am aware of this though, and am trying to find out what it is that I want this career to be, what is it that I really want to do.
That is the point of life right? To strive towards happiness, to strive towards enjoying what you do every day, to make it, and own it, and love it. I am happy, but I am stalled out and trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up... before I do grow up and haven't done anything.
No comments:
Post a Comment