Alright, after some thought and calming texts and conversation from a few friends that have the crazies in their heads like mine.. the ones I don't have to explain it to, just get it, and thus listen and tell me to calm down, breathe, and stop over planning and over thinking, I can say its not going away (all those thoughts and wonders and worries) but that I am not alone, its a growing process, and I have just got to take one step in front of the other, I can still guard the heart, but what is the shame in trying and seeing, but making sure I am first, and making sure, unlike my past relationships, make sure I am not the only one invested.
Sound good advice, sounds like something I would tell them... hmmm, yeah, that sounds about right too. Thats what good friends are for, to tell you what you already know.
I know relationship are tough, and successful ones are coming farther between in society today, but there is no reason to not let someone come see where I live and get to know them. You meet all people for a reason, some are there to give you the advice you know, some are there for you to give advice to, some are there to bring you up when you are down, some are just there to make you smile and keep you company along this journey of life...
I can not let what happen to me before stop something from happening again in the future, I will never have all the control, nor do I want it, but I need to be willing to be comfortable with having some control too, not wanting to give it all to someone else. I know this won't be the last time I freak out and babble on about this, although I will probably leave it out of the blog-land.
Man you would think I would know all this before I was 24 1/2... of course when I re-read it, I did know all of that, but for some reason knowing things and applying them are completely different and totally independent sometimes.
Hopefully this has not been a daunting conversation for you, and if it has, well I apologize, I will get back to outfits shortly and boy are there some exciting pieces to be shown! I still haven't shown you anything from clothing swap have I??! most of it hasn't been new trendy fashion-y, more comfy warm things for impeding winter weather, but I will share again, promise! And I really need to get on this Halloween costume thing.. sinces its in like 2 days!
What are you planning to be dressed up as?
I need ideas as it is a pretty big deal in Arcata... if you are down south, its like Santa Barbara but in town square instead of down a road.. gets a little crazy, but killer costumes!
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