I am not going to apologize, but I know I have been absent, I was house sitting and dog sitting since my last post, and trying to embrace the absence of Internet being around all the time. There is a beauty in being disconnected. I mean, not letting the rest of the world know your every waking move. I have a twitter, I don't use it, well I post something like once a year, I don't have it on my phone (I have a "dumb phone" in contrast to all these smart phones everyone has). And I think sometimes there is a lot to be there for just living your life. I actually have found that those times when I am happiest, and busiest (the two go together in my world) I am on the computer and Internet less. So when you don't hear from me as much, its most likely a good sign... most of the time
Someone pointed out to me recently that they thought I was a creature of habit... My first thought is "no"... I think about it and I do have a method to how I live my life, how I make decisions, how I choose my actions. do I have habits,sure. Do I choose locations, trips, etc in a repetitive comfortable habit.. no. I don't think so anyways...
I def. do best under pressure, under short deadlines, with things that are a bit of a challenge, but that are within my scope to handle. I am fairly terrified of the unknown, and I am a Planner, by Career, by personal lifestyle. I don't know if that is a creature of habit, but maybe a creature of planning?
shirt - rue 21
button up - target?
jeans - 7's via consignment
wedges - Steve Madden via cosignment (promise I'll change up the shoes soon)
It sometimes is my downfall, holds me back. But I have taken jumps in life, and just realized it will work out how its suppose to. Of course I have most likely weighted out the pro's and con's, and have a Plan B if it fails. I wish I could live with no Plan B, however financial burden has stepped in and required I don't completely live a "free" lifestyle.
I know I come back from SF, to this place I dislike, I mean I don't hate it, I hate that I am "stuck" here for the time being. If I could truly have a job lined up, or my debts in order to go without a Plan B for awhile, I would, but I need to stay put, build the resume, save money, pay down debt. There is a plan (of course there is a plan). Unfortunately, I still like to whine and complain because the timeline is not as short as I would prefer. However, I have come to realize I am one of those people that know what I really want (well most of the time) and have never really been given the easy in, I have always had to work extra hard, with delayed gratification for things... normally waiting a year or two (mostly two) to get to where I want to be.
(and in optimistic fashion..) I have learned that I cherish these things, places, people a whole hell of a lot more if I just got handed them. If I just got into the college I wanted, if I just got the job I wanted where I wanted. And you know what, I don't fail completely out, but I have had to work hard, take what I am given, and make it work to get me to where I want to be... I wanted to go to Cal Poly THAT BAD. And you know what, I got there, I went somewhere else, I transferred, I got GE's done well, I applied, I got in, I worked hard, and I graduated in 5 years (which is actually "normal" for cal poly, and I transferred in). I want to be some place, but I am somewhere else. I am working, expanding my experience, setting myself up for when this G)@ D*#! economy turns around enough that there are planning jobs. I am networking as much as possible, and I am keeping my head up.
Now I just need someone to refine my resume to refocus it again, I have so many many resumes in my files, I think I just need a person that focuses on resumes to help me develop a solid focused few (such as one for transportation planning jobs, one for public sector, one for private/design) If I had these, I think I could at least be more confident in sending them off. Grant it I have had some calls, a few interviews, but no offers.
Time will tell, after all "everything is ok in the end, if its not ok, then its not the end"
( I really got off on a tagent today, I really want to share the few snap shots I took at the conference... tomorrow I guess... oh and boots! I finally bought a pair of black flat boots!)
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